Hello everyone. And thank you so much for joining us on “This Needs to Be Said’. Our friend, attorney Peter Daigle is here with us today, and we we’ve taken a different approach to our discussions to give you an idea of the types of clients that he helps. And today we’re going to talk about someone who’s going through a divorce or considering divorce, but Peter will lead us on that. We talked about seniors before dealing with bankruptcy. So now this time the discussion is a client that comes to see him and they’re considering or going through divorce. Hey, Peter, how are you.
Hi Katherine, Thanks so much. Thanks for the nice introduction. And, this is a really good topic. I think I was going to touch to a lot of people who are either going through a divorce or considering it and what the impact is. So I’m really happy to be able to provide this information.
Absolutely cause I think sometimes we hear something I think about parables or, or, Oh gosh, fables, parables or fables. I think of these, these stories that aren’t our stories, but we can get a message from it. And sometimes we still don’t grasp it unless it hits us closer to our scenario right? You know, so I think that these discussions, while it may not be Katherine or Peter, it could be someone like Katherine or Peter and I can connect with that scenario. So I think that this is very useful, so let’s get into it. I got pen and paper.
Sure. So, you know, obviously the whole, process of a divorce is really about starting fresh. Okay starting a new and many times the finances are so, entangled with your, you know, with your spouse, that it, the going through a divorce really raises havoc with that. Okay. So it’s not just the past bills and obligations that you have, but it’s being able to set yourself up with your new life going forward, by being able to have a budget that you can live with and not sort of settling some deaths from before. Okay, so one thing that a bankruptcy does do it gives you that fresh start, financially, that you may or may not get, without it. Okay. So for example, you know, part of marital problems sometimes develop because of fights about money and that, you know, credit card spending and, you know, refinancing homes or whatever.
And so, you know, these, you know, the couple or the family has created debt, that upon the divorce, it makes it difficult for each of the each party to be able to afford their deaths going forward. So not only having to pay their debts, but also now having to pay a separate mortgage or rent or, you know, living arrangements and then plus paying child or alimony, it becomes quite a burden. So what we see a lot of times is that folks are on the brink while they’re married, and having, having to struggle financially with two incomes, but when it comes to one, it’s literally impossible. So what we do a lot of times is that we do joint petitions for divorce, where we can even represent both parties as long as they’re in agreement. In other words, if they come and say, listen, we don’t need you for an attorney to help us with the divorce.
You know, we just need to get rid of this debt. You know, a lot of times everyone, the same page, we’re happy to help them, without giving any advice, because really there’s a common goal and that’s to get rid of the debt, but we don’t deal with children that are, you know, visitation or the division of assets. We’re really just trying to get rid of the debt. Okay. So they come to us and they’ll say, you know, we were overwhelmed here and should we file bankruptcy first or do it after the divorce Well, it certainly makes it easier to go to the divorce, having filed a joint petition for bankruptcy, because then when they fill out their financial statements for, in the family court, they can list the at zero, unless they have more money in a car loan or on a mortgage and so, or student loans.
So it makes it easier for the family court judge to referee or to agree in a settlement, for divorce when essentially they don’t have any deaths to carve up. But when, when there’s quite a bit of credit card debt and involved in, it gets into, well, this, you charge this and you know, you’re, this is your participant. So it’s a bone of contention. A lot of times on who pays these debts with what the bankruptcy does is it gives you a fresh start. So it sort of covers some of the, some of the past sins we’ll call it from the, from the marriage that they kind of get wiped out with the bankruptcy. And then second, it helps going forward because if both parties now going forward with new lives, don’t have to be credit card debt, or, you know, personal loans or whatever that may have been problematic in the marriage.
There’s no more disposable income to pay, whether it be alimony, child support, a sign of the home for one of the spouses and then, you know, you know, engage in a new life, having to pay that. So it really cures two things. So, you know, a fair amount of our practice is, folks that are going through divorces. You know, and even if both spouses aren’t able to sit in the same room with each other to file the bankruptcy, we’re doing one is fine also. So it isn’t like you have to come in with your former spouse to be okay, you can do that. Yeah, you can do it individually. But you know, then the question becomes when you get divorced, you know, what’s the judge going to say, well, because the other person has all this debt and now it becomes an issue.
So you don’t truly get the fresh start until, you know, they’ve both got rid of the debt, unless the amount of debt that the other spouse has is so small, that’s insignificantly, you know, it’s customary, we see in relationships with a person with a good job and a good credit, will accumulate the debt. And, you know, and so obviously that doesn’t seem fair, but in the event of a bankruptcy, it levels the playing field on who owes and it doesn’t have to be an order from a family court as to you have a spouse having to pay feel a person’s debts. Again, it just eliminates problems down the road, right
Yeah. And if you’re getting a divorce and you know that this is what you want to do and you, we know we can’t work together, we’re not good together, but we do want a fresh start. I think, I think that that takes, gosh, a lot of maturity because I imagined getting divorces. You know, I, I hate you, you know, that kind of thing.
But, you know when cooler heads prevail and a lot of times we get, we get a fair amount of referrals from divorce attorneys who, you know who came in and said, geez, you guys should really go back and see for us. So we, we do quite a bit of work from, we help other lawyers when they, you know, I said, Hey, listen, you’re gonna help these folks out
That makes, see, that makes even attorneys. I have, I have not. I’ll man, it makes those attorneys even nice because there’s more help. I mean, I know when off anyway, I’m tongue tied and you just blew my mind again, because again, attorney was a bad word before having you on the show. So yeah and their advocate, people use advocate, Hey, these people need your help. And gosh, anyway, thanks now, not a solid question, but I do have a solid question. You just, to me there, have you ever had a couple decided to stay married after getting their finances together.
Well, I can’t, I mean, I’ve done probably, I don’t know 15,000 bankruptcies. And so I, it’s kind of all blurred together over the years, but I absolutely remember that coming up, but I can’t remember the specific instance because when people fight about money, it’s really, it gets to be a sore spot in a marriage. And so when there’s no money issues, some of the other issues that, that they had can kind of we worked out. So the answer is, yes, I have seen that in the past. So that’s, that’s a good question because, you know,
No bankruptcy saves your marriage.
Identity, right So much of our identities resolve and revolving around money, right It’s such a, you know, how much money you have or how much money you don’t have and what you make. And it’s a tremendous amount of energy that gets expended every day, and getting caught up with your finances, you know so, and usually it’s not good energy either, you know
No, it’s, it’s a lack of, years ago, I started with myself, reminding myself what I have, because you can get so greedy, eyeballed looking at things that you wish you could have. And while you could have one day, you’re not happy about what you have now. It’s sort of like telling, you know, the person you’re with, I love you so much, but if I had this other person I could love, you know, like know they don’t feel appreciated. So yeah I have to remind myself to, to stop mourning or looking ahead so far, I appreciate where I am and what I have and not because I’m settling. So yeah, we have, we have that problem as a human more and more, give me more,
And then you get more than you just want more. So it’s
Exactly how do we solve the problem, we did not. Okay. Peter, every time you come, you share great nuggets of information with us. And I, you, you blew my mind with you and the divorce attorneys or family law attorneys working together to help people to resolve these stuff, places in their lives, because we all have problems. And we all run into times. We don’t have solutions. So I cut in right there, but was there more that you wanted to share with a divorce Okay.
We’ve got it. I think we covered it. I mean, we really hit the high points. So I think there’s enough information here to get folks to think, you know,
Exactly, there are more solutions out here and attorneys, lawyers are not bad people. There are bad people everywhere around the world, but not because they became an attorney. Bankruptcy is not a bad word. So I want each person listening to this interview and who will read it in print later to understand your options just because it’s not what you want it to be, because you didn’t get married to get divorced. That’s, that’s not what you do. So when you get to this point, you do have a lot of bitter feelings, but talking with you, Peter, it sounds like we have to decide, like, what’s really the issue because if the issue is money and if we could fix money, would that help us So I I’m enjoying this and I can’t wait. Yes, I can. I can wait. I’m looking forward to our next discussion on the next type of client that you’ve helped and how this can help that type of person’s problem solving skills when it comes to restructure in our lives. So before we get outta here and tell people how to get in touch with you.
Sure, sure. If you want to speak to me in person, you can call (508) 771-7444. If you want to go on my website and contact me through email or through ordering a book or any, read any information that we have on our site it’s, Daigle law, office.com, D A I G L E law office.com. So look me up. You’ll click on see my smiling face, read all kinds of, blogs and, other information that we have in order a copy of the book. If you like it,
Fantastic, have a wonderful day until our next discussion. Bye now.